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How did I end up here?
|Prayer Request:||I was raped 2 weeks ago by 2 men. I'm a mom of 5 children and the pain and fear and desperation and panic I've felt since the attack led me to run away from the pain. My children are with their father this week. He divorced me three years ago. Last night I drove away from my hometown with the intention of finding one of my attackers and having my own justice. Two and a half hours from home, unable to stop crying and completely lost I called a friend who lives in Roseville asking him to look up my location online and get me directions. As it turned out I was 2 miles from his house. He told me just to come over and get some rest and look at things today with a fresh perspective. I'll be honest...I no longer really cared if I live or die. I'm a believer in Jesus and I have absolute faith in His power to heal me of the trauma I've suffered...I just no longer believe it's His plan for me. My father started raping me when I was 3 and I have been sexually assaulted a number of times as an adult. I'm not angry or bitter at God for these attacks but his most recent one has shaken my view of myself as worthwhile in His eyes and I honestly desire what seems the only healing I'll ever know...death of my physical body. So today my friend was telling there's a little coffee shopa cross the street from his house and it's a good place to relax and write or think and I went over with my computer to consider my next move. That's when I saw you. You are across the street from my friend's house. I want to belive that God led me in my desperation and pain to this house in this city so that I could see IHOPE and ask for help. My oldest daughter is on her way tomorrow morning to Ihop in Kansas City and I know this is no coincidence. Please pray for me to want to live. I am broken and hurting and scared. I want depsreately to believe that a God who loves me led me here today.|